'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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