i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
