I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love you. Go after that dick
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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