this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
