# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
