WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
