To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
