I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
