Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
