you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
