Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
