I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Randomize
