dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
