I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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