can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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