Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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