No stitches, just platelets and will power
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
