I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Terrible idea I love it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
