HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
