Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
