Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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