how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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