News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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