i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
