Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
