Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
