I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
