I hate all girls vehemently.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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