no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
