just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
