i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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