I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
