We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
