Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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