quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize