check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
