We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
