I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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