she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
