I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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