omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
