the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
