I swear god or herbie drove my car home
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
