I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
