Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize