addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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