i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize