I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
how does that bad decision feel?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize