I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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