fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The air was thick with penises
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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