He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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