I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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