Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
