feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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