I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Text me some of your sweat
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
