how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
