I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
