He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
