Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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