would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He felt like a one man threesome
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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