Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize