I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
