Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
